My wife spends all her time with the kids - what do I do?

Okay well you asked for an opinion. According to the picture you painted she is spoiled and you are pretty much whipped. So you work, you earn, you pay the bills while she stays home and that's not good enough for her. She disrespects you, says you're overweight, is a chore, you're the last person she wants anything to do with so . . . why? Why does she have such a sense of entitlement to treat you like crap? Maybe you need to grow a pair & let her know that's not how things work around here.